


stay objective

by addgrain



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: First Time, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, just bros helping out bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 00:46:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20200939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addgrain/pseuds/addgrain
Summary: “Just like last week,” Freddie says. “We can practice, if you want.”





	stay objective

**Author's Note:**

> title from emoticons by the wombats
> 
> I wrote this way too fast so please let me know if there are major mistakes!

“I’m having a crisis,” Auston says, bursting into Freddie’s apartment. Freddie seriously regrets giving him a key. 

“Really,” Freddie says, trying to sound as uninterested as possible. He doesn’t even tear his eyes away from the TV, sprawled comfortably on his couch, in _his _apartment which Auston has just invaded unannounced. 

Last time Auston had a self proclaimed crisis, it had been about whether he should wear his glasses to the holiday party, and Freddie had literally lost brain cells in that conversation. 

“Freddie,” Auston whines, and comes to lie entirely on top of him, blocking his view of his show. “I’m serious.”

“Auston,” Freddie mimics, looking down at Auston, chin propped on his chest. Auston is really heavy, and Freddie’s really not in the mood to wrestle him off right now. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Auston says, eyes wide, making that face he does when he thinks he’s being cute and irresistible. “Please,” he pouts.

Freddie sighs, resigned. “Okay, what’s up.”

Auston lets up, rolling off of him and letting Freddie sit up. 

“Well. I got asked on a date,” Auston starts.

“Okay,” Freddie says slowly. “I’m assuming there’s more?” He asks, when Auston doesn’t go on, picking at his nails. Auston doesn’t really date at all, given his track record and very long list of hookups in Toronto alone, so Freddie guesses Auston being allergic to commitment is the problem here.

“Oh, yes,” Auston says, sounding more panicked by the second. “I said yes, and I’m freaking out. Freddie, I’m really fucking freaking out here.” 

Freddie blinks. “Really?” He can’t hide the disbelief in his voice. “You’ve never, I mean, I don’t remember you ever—” 

“It’s a guy,” Auston blurts, then puts his head in his hands. “I said yes to going on a date with a guy,” he finishes, muffled in his palms.

And that’s— that’s not at all what Freddie was expecting, but altogether not super surprising. Auston’s an attractive guy, young, famous, and acts like he thinks he’s a lot cooler than he really is. It’s not news that people are into him, guys or not. But Auston— Auston’s like the straightest guy he’s ever met, and that’s really saying something considering he’s played hockey his whole life.

“You’re not into guys,” Freddie tries, tentative.

Auston looks up, indignant. 

“I could be,” he huffs, like it’s that easy, and Freddie wants to smack him, but settles for rolling his eyes instead. 

“You are an idiot,” Freddie says. “Did you get his number? How are you supposed to contact him? I don’t know, man. You gotta like, tell him you can’t do this.” 

“Hey,” Auston says, sitting up straighter now. “I _can _do this, fuck you.” 

Freddie eyes him. “You said it was a crisis, earlier. I just thought, you know. You needed help letting him down easy.” 

Auston glares at him. “I’m going on this date,” he snaps. “I’m not an asshole.”

“Okay, okay,” Freddie says, holding his hands up. “What’s the problem then? Let me help, Matts.”

Auston slumps. “I don’t know. I’m just— I really want to go on this date, but I’m so nervous. He’s cute, and nice, and I have no idea what to do, or what to expect, or if he’s even gonna like me, or—”

His voice keeps getting higher, and the words keep tumbling out faster and faster like he can’t even help it, so Freddie cuts him off. 

“Relax, Auston, c’mon.” He puts a hand on Auston’s shoulder, and Auston turns his head to stare at it, before letting out a huge breath. 

“You want tips? Advice?” Freddie offers. 

There’s a moment of silence, Auston studying him, confused. 

Freddie clears his throat. “I’m bi,” he explains. “I’ve been with guys.”

It’s pretty clear Auston’s brain just like, exploded, because he gapes at Freddie for a solid thirty seconds, shocked into silence.

Freddie waits him out. Honestly, he meant to tell Auston a long time ago, but it genuinely never came up. He’s comfortable with it, and he’s never really tried to actively hide it. He’s pretty busy though, and he’s not usually a hookup guy, so it’s not like he’s picking up guys left and right the way Auston goes with girls. He’s pretty sure Mo, at least, already knows, has seen him go home from the bar with that tall brunette last season and not given a fuck, because he’s cool like that. Auston’s just oblivious. 

“You— you _what_?” Auston asks, finally, sounding kind of faint. 

“I’ve been with guys,” Freddie repeats, and Auston finally looks like he’s recovered a little bit. “I can help you out, if you want, for your date.” 

“I— that would— okay,” Auston manages, but it comes out kind of strangled. “Yes. Sure.” 

Freddie smiles at him, then pats him gently on the thigh. 

“Let’s order dinner,” he offers, when Auston does nothing but continue to stare at him. “We can talk about it over food. Burgers?”

“Yes,” Auston says, sounding a little less like he’s going to pass out, and Freddie pulls out his phone to order.

By the time they finish their food, Auston is mostly calm again, just very quiet. 

“My point is, it’s not any different, guys and girls, you know?” Freddie says, after he’s recounted a few of his first date experiences. Not all of them had gone well, obviously, especially not the one that had turned out to really hate hockey, but they’re all normal enough that it seems to settle Auston, a little. 

“I’ve never been on a date,” Auston admits after a few moments, kicking at the rug. “So I wouldn’t know.” 

“Oh,” Freddie says. 

“I’ve just never had the time to get serious with anyone,” Auston says, defensive, like he’s misread Freddie’s surprise. He hunches in on himself. “It’s not like I _can’t,_ okay.”

“I didn’t say that,” Freddie placates. “I just—” He trails off, because he actually was thinking that, a little bit. 

Auston looks down at the ground, gaze stormy, like he’s angry about his lack of experience. 

“I’m not the dating type,” he says. “I’m going to suck at this.”

Freddie thinks for a second. 

“Okay,” he says, finally. “Why don’t we just like, roleplay this?”

“What?”

“Yeah. We can practice. Here— what’s his name?” Freddie asks gently, nudging Auston with his knee. “Your guy.”

Auston makes a face. “He’s not _my guy_. But— Hayden.”

“I’ll be Hayden, then,” Freddie says, and Auston’s eyes widen, like he’s just now understanding what’s going on. “Where are we going for our date?”

Auston stares. “Uh, I was going to let him pick,” he says, finally. 

“We can work with that,” Freddie says. “Let’s just say a nice restaurant downtown then. Something simple. I’d probably just wear a nice shirt and pants. Nothing too crazy, right?”

Auston nods, hesitant. “Right. So— okay. Me too, then. Maybe a sweater over it?” 

“Sure,” Freddie says. “So if I was Hayden, I’d come pick you up. Open the door for you and all that stuff. Ask you some questions while we eat, get to know you a little bit.”

“What would we— what would we talk about?” Auston asks. “What if I’m being weird, or something? I wouldn’t know what to say.”

“You’re not weird, and you’re funny,” Freddie reassures. He has no idea what Auston’s so nervous about, when he’s such a natural at talking to people normally. Freddie’s certainly never had a dull moment around him, and has always been helplessly fond of him from the start. “You’re charming, and I know you can be sweet and honest. Just be yourself. He’ll be blown away.”

Auston doesn’t even say anything, and Freddie swears he looks disbelieving. Stunned, almost.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Auston’s voice is rough, and he coughs into his fist. “Then... what would we do after we ate?”

“We could split a dessert, maybe, if you want. Tell him you like chocolate, though, so you don’t get pissy about it if you don’t get it.” 

Freddie’s witnessed more than a few incidents where that’s happened, unfortunately. 

“Yeah?” Auston asks. 

“Yeah. And what would we do about the check?”

“I would pay?” Auston tries, unsure. Freddie gives him a smile, encouraging. “I’d pay,” Auston says, firmer this time. “Since you picked me up.”

“Good,” Freddie says, and Auston smiles wide. “So I’d drive you home, after. Then I walk you to your door, and I ask if you want to do this again, and you say...” Freddie prompts. 

Auston pauses, eyes searching Freddie’s face. “I’d say yes. Of course I would.”

“Next week?” Freddie asks, still playing along. 

“Oh,” Auston says. “I don’t— I have to look at our schedule and make sure really quick, so let me—”

He moves like he’s actually going to pick his phone up and look, and Freddie stops him with a gentle hand on his elbow. 

“It’s okay,” he laughs. “Just pretending here, remember? Just say yes, that’s perfect.” 

Auston blinks at him, like he actually did forget they were just practicing. “Oh, okay. Yes, that’s perfect,” he repeats, word for word. “See you then.”

“There,” Freddie says, patting Auston on the shoulder. “That wasn’t hard, right?” 

“No,” Auston shakes his head, eyes still trained on his face. 

“Good,” Freddie smiles, then goes to clear the boxes off the table as Auston checks his phone. 

He’s glad that helped a little, because Auston is definitely a lot less keyed up than he was when he first got here, but there still seems to be something else on Auston’s mind. Freddie’s never seen Auston like this, so scared and hesitant and so clearly out of his element. It’s unexpected for sure, but refreshing, too, how eager he is to get it right. It’s cute. 

Freddie goes and grabs two beers out his fridge, figuring it might help some more. 

Auston looks up when Freddie comes back, and takes the bottle from his hands gratefully. Their fingers brush slightly as he reaches out, and Auston jumps, going red and taking a huge gulp of his drink. Freddie watches as he wipes his palms on his jeans.

“So,” Freddie starts, light. “Do you have a pic of Hayden? I feel like I need to see if I resemble this guy, since I just pretended to be him and all,” he jokes. 

“I only have his number,” Auston says, shaking his head. “Wrote it on my coffee cup.” He blushes hard, looking down at the floor. 

Freddie feels a wave of fondness, imagining how flustered Auston must have been in the moment. “Cliche,” he teases, and it makes Auston laugh. 

“I guess,” he says, sheepish, fingers picking at the label on his beer. “Cute, though, right?” 

He glances over at Freddie, almost expectant. 

“Cute,” Freddie agrees, and feels only the smallest twinge of jealousy at the way Auston smiles to himself, small. 

Unfortunately, they’re pretty busy for the next few weeks, schedule packed with back to backs with a long road trip right in the middle of it. 

For Freddie, that means he’s playing a lot, and that on top of the travel tires him out more than he usually is. It also means Auston isn’t going to go on his big date for a lot longer than he would like, which only gives him more time to do nothing but text Hayden and freak out about it to Freddie. 

“I’ve never even kissed a guy,” Auston says, sitting on the corner of Freddie’s hotel bed after a really bad loss. Freddie had played that night (not well), and was way too exhausted to go out with the team. Auston, apparently, had taken that to mean he could come over. 

“It’s okay,” Freddie assures him, and puts the TV volume on low. “Seriously. He’s probably not going to kiss you on the first date.” 

Auston looks almost disappointed at that, but he barrels on. 

“But what about the second date? Or third date? Or after that? He’s going to kiss me eventually.”

Freddie raises an eyebrow at him. “You seem pretty sure it’s going to go further than just one date.”

“Of course it will,” Auston says, offended. “I’m very likable.” 

“I’m not saying it’s going to be _you _that’s not likable,” Freddie explains. 

“Whatever,” Auston says. He crosses his arms. “I was just worried. Maybe things will go well until we kiss, and then he’s going to hate me because I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?” Freddie asks. 

“No.” Auston glares at him. “I’m not dramatic.”

Freddie resists the urge to roll his eyes. “Okay,” he says, then turns the TV off. He thinks about last week, how nervous Auston had been then, too, at just the mere idea of a date. “You wanna come over here?” 

“No,” Auston says, petulant, and remains sitting stubbornly at the corner with his arms still crossed, still annoyed at Freddie.

“Please?” Freddie tries, patting the space between himself and the night stand. 

That makes Auston’s arms drop, and he moves, coming to sit closer. There’s not a lot of space between where Freddie’s got his legs stretched out and the edge of the bed, so they’re pretty much pressed together along their sides. It’s not uncomfortable though, and Freddie turns to look over at Auston. 

Auston’s already watching him, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Just like last week,” Freddie says. “We can practice, if you want.” 

“You mean— Like another date thing?” Auston asks, still biting at his lip. 

Freddie can feel his eyes involuntarily track the movement of his mouth, and Auston seems to notice too, with the way he inhales sharply, all of a sudden. 

“Kind of,” Freddie supplies. Then he puts his hand on Auston’s arm, steady even as Auston startles. “We can practice kissing, if you want. So you know what it’s like and how to do it, if the time comes. With Hayden, of course,” he adds. 

“Really?” Auston asks, surprised. But he’s clearly thinking about it now, eyes flicking down to Freddie’s mouth then back up to look him in the eye, just briefly. 

“Sure,” Freddie shrugs, aiming for casual as not to freak Auston out even more. “No big deal, right?”

Auston draws in another breath, shakier this time. “Okay. We can— let’s practice, then.”

“Okay,” Freddie agrees, and slides the hand that was on Auston’s arm up to rest between his shoulder blades, pushing gently until Auston leans forward and meets him halfway. 

The first press of their lips together is tentative, Auston clearly holding back, tense. So Freddie leans in more, tilting his head and trying to get Auston to move, just a little. Then he slides his hand up to the back of Auston’s neck, gentle, feeling Auston shiver at the skin on skin contact. 

It works, and Auston’s mouth starts moving against his, and he kisses him back with more confidence. Auston’s not a bad kisser, but it’s clear he’s used to doing this with someone smaller than him and taking control of the kiss. 

Freddie pulls back, hand still resting on the back of Auston’s neck. Auston’s eyes open, and he blinks slowly at Freddie. His cheeks are red, and he looks— he looks good, flustered from only a few seconds of kissing. 

“That was good,” Freddie says, and Auston flushes redder. 

“You don’t have to lie to me,” Auston mumbles, looking down.

“No, seriously,” Freddie says, and tips Auston’s chin back up so they can look at each other again. “You know what you’re doing, you just need to relax a little. It’s pretty much the same as kissing a girl, yeah? Just relax, follow my lead, okay?”

Auston nods, leaning in again already. 

This time, Auston’s far more pliant, moving easily as Freddie shifts. He lets out a gasp as Freddie coaxes his mouth open with his tongue, a surprised sound that Freddie swallows easily. 

Eventually, the angle starts hurting his back, twisted sideways to get his hand on Auston. Freddie pulls back again suddenly, and Auston makes a noise, needy and shocked. And that— Freddie sucks in a breath, sharp. 

“Position’s a little uncomfortable,” he explains, voice tight, and Auston nods, rubbing at his neck. “Here,” he says, then reaches a hand out. 

Auston takes it hesitantly, and Freddie pulls at it until Auston moves with him. He gets the memo though, and comes to sit in Freddie’s lap slowly, straddling him and looking unsure.

“Is this okay?” Freddie asks, putting a hand on Auston’s back again.

Auston nods, fast. “Can we keep—” he stops. 

“Yeah,” Freddie answers anyway. “Of course.” 

This position is a lot better, and a lot easier for Auston to lean down and kiss him hard. He’s getting the hang of it now, always a quick learner, and he Freddie smiles against his mouth. They’re well and fully making out now, the original plan of just kissing derailed. It’s fine, probably, Freddie thinks, because eventually Auston’s going to have to make out with Hayden, right?

Auston pushes forward, and puts his hands cautiously on Freddie’s chest, like he doesn’t know how or where to touch. Freddie reaches down without breaking the kiss, grabbing one of Auston’s hands and putting it on his shoulder, and guiding the other to his waist. Then, he moves his own hand to Auston’s lower back, pulling him closer.

They kiss for a long time, so long that Freddie completely loses track of how long it’s been. What started off as something so small and hesitant has escalated into heated kissing, and it’s impressive how well Auston’s gotten the hang of it so quickly. 

It’s only when Auston’s phone goes off that they spring apart, startled, Freddie knocking his head against the headboard. 

They stare at each other, still breathing hard, as Auston’s phone continues to ring. 

“You should get that,” Freddie says finally. 

Auston leans over still in Freddie’s lap, balanced precariously as he reaches for his phone on the nightstand. 

“Mitch,” he says when he picks up. “Hey.”

Then he glances at Freddie. “Nowhere. I’m on my way back, like right now.” 

“Curfew, yeah,” Auston says, shifting a little. “See you in a bit.” 

Auston hangs up, holding his phone to his chest. Then he looks at Freddie again. 

“Thank you,” he says, awkward. He rocks forward again, slightly off balance, and Freddie can feel Auston’s dick hard against his thigh. He looks down at the way he’s tenting his jeans, just a glance, but Auston catches him and goes red immediately. He slides off Freddie’s lap, and Freddie can tell he’s carefully averting his eyes from where Freddie’s hard, too, just from kissing. 

“No problem,” Freddie says, just as stilted, but he’s trying not to make it weird. “Hopefully this helps with Hayden.”

“Hayden,” Auston says, and pauses, standing by the bed. “Yeah. It probably will.”

“Goodnight, Auston,” Freddie says, as Auston walks towards the door. 

Auston stops, gripping the handle, and looks over his shoulder, cheeks still pink, lips swollen like a persistent reminder of what they just did.

“Night, Fred,” he says, very quiet, before he goes.

Freddie tries not to think about it. Freddie tries _very_ hard not to think about it— how soft Auston’s mouth had been against his, the timid press of his hands to Freddie’s body, and the sounds he made, like he wasn’t even sure he was doing it. The way they’d both been so clearly turned on by it all. 

He’s just being a good friend, helping Auston out. Showing him the ropes.

But Auston doesn’t seem to notice Freddie trying to get over it, because he keeps following Freddie back to his room at night, hands tucked into his pockets, all innocent like Freddie doesn’t know what he wants. 

“Practice?” Auston asks, every time, looking up at Freddie through his lashes, so shy like he’s just waiting for Freddie to turn him down. And what kind of friend would Freddie be, if he didn’t do everything he could to help Auston figure out how to woo _Hayden _when they get back from their trip?

So Auston gets really fucking good at kissing over the next two weeks, is the point. 

The last game of their road trip goes well. Freddie only lets in one goal off a weird bounce, Auston scores, and they win. Freddie’s happy, but mostly relieved that they can finally go home. 

“Can I come over later?” Auston asks, the two of them huddled in the corner of the booth at the club. The music’s loud, so Auston has to rest his chin on Freddie’s shoulder to talk directly into his ear to be heard. Freddie knows what he wants. He knows he should say no, let him down easy, before this gets out of hand.

Freddie finishes his drink, his only one for the night. “Let’s go back now,” he suggests, and Auston perks up. 

“Okay,” he says, and gulps down the rest of his too.

Auston trails after Freddie into his hotel room, and Freddie wants to push him up against the wall and kiss him stupid as soon as the door clicks shut.

But that’s not how this works. It’s not about Freddie. It’s about Auston, and the guy he’s trying to impress. _Hayden_, Freddie thinks bitterly, kicking off his shoes. 

“Freddie,” Auston starts, stepping towards him.

“Auston,” Freddie says, watching as Auston gets closer. 

“We get back tomorrow,” Auston says. “To Toronto.”

“Big day this weekend, huh,” Freddie says, and forces a smile. “Time to put all this practice to use.”

Auston flushes, putting his hands back in his pockets. “I guess,” he says. 

“So what’s up?” Freddie asks, and sits on the bed. “Don’t want to practice today?” 

Auston shakes his head. “It’s not that. I _do_,” he insists. “But—”

He steps closer, and Freddie has to crane his head to look up at Auston. 

“I still don’t know how… What about after we kiss?” Auston says. “After that, if we— if we have sex?” 

Freddie feels like he just got punched, and his ears are ringing. What Auston’s implying— this would definitely be too much, if Auston’s still just using him for _practice_. 

But Auston’s looking at him so earnestly, sucking on his bottom lip again, nervous and sincere—

“Do you want to try?” Freddie asks, throat dry, and so, so turned on.

“Yeah,” Auston breathes. “It’s just— I would be scared to, if I didn’t know how,” he explains. 

Freddie closes his eyes. “Okay,” he says. Fuck. “What do you want to do?” 

Auston’s quiet for a second, and Freddie can feel the air move in front of his face. He opens his eyes, and Auston’s sinking to his knees in front of him. Freddie feels like he’s going to die. 

“Can I—” Auston leans in, and Freddie spreads his thighs automatically. “Can I blow you?” 

“Do you want to?” Freddie asks, and he’s trying to keep calm and not freak Auston out but he doesn’t know how much longer he can keep this up, not with the way Auston’s peering up at him, hands in his lap and looking far too innocent right now. 

“Yes,” Auston says, sure. “But can you help? Like tell me what I’m doing wrong.”

Freddie nods, wordless, still looking right into Auston’s eyes, dark and pupils blown. 

“Okay. Well, then I’ll just—” Auston pushes forward, and puts his hands on Freddie’s belt. His hands are shaky as he undoes the buckle then pulls it free. Freddie lifts up so Auston can work his pants and underwear down his thighs, until he lets the clothing pool at his feet. Freddie’s already so hard it’s embarrassing, but Auston’s breathing hard and he doesn’t seem to notice.

Auston’s staring at his dick like he has zero clue how to even begin, hands still unsteady on Freddie’s thighs. 

“Get your hand wet,” Freddie suggests, and he has no idea how his voice is even at all right now. “Use your hand and then follow up with your mouth.”

Auston looks down at his hand, then back up at Freddie, then licks a few solid stripes up his palm before getting his hand on Freddie. He works him a few times, before leaning in slowly and getting his mouth on just the tip. 

“Go slow,” Freddie says, and Auston glances up at him before sinking down just a little bit at a time. 

Auston’s always eager, every time they do this, so it’s no surprise when he goes down too far too fast and chokes, spit sliding down Freddie’s cock as he pulls back for air, gasping.

“Fuck,” Auston says, coughing. 

“You’re okay,” Freddie reassures, and before he can talk himself out of it, puts a hand gently at the crown of Auston’s head, pushing through the strands. “Take your time. Go slow,” he reminds him again. 

Whatever Auston lacks in skill he definitely makes up for in enthusiasm, as he leans back in as soon as he catches his breath to try to take Freddie deep again. He barely gets any more of Freddie in his mouth the second or third time around before he gags again, and then he pulls off completely, wiping at his eyes as he coughs, frustrated. 

“You don’t have to take me in all the way,” Freddie says, and pets at Auston’s hair again. “Just start with the tip and use your hand. Here, let me—” Freddie guides him forward slowly, hand still at the back of his head. 

Auston opens his mouth easily, getting his hand back on Freddie’s shaft as he sucks down the head of Freddie’s dick, and Freddie lets him go about halfway down before he tugs gently at the strands of Auston’s hair to get him to come back up. 

“Try to get a rhythm going,” Freddie says, and Auston looks up at him, determined. It’s a sight— lips stretched wide around Freddie’s dick and eyes still wet, spit everywhere. 

He takes instruction well, which Freddie already knew, of course, but Auston picks it up fast. He starts bobbing his head, sucking Freddie down before pulling back and going again, hand following his mouth as he moves. 

“That’s good, Auston,” Freddie grits out, because he’s getting there, now. Auston makes a noise around him, strangled, and moves faster, sucking harder, like he knows Freddie’s close.

Freddie’s grip tightens inadvertently in Auston’s hair. Auston moans, surprised, and Freddie lets go immediately.

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologizes, and Auston blinks at him, watery, mouth pink around his dick as he sinks back down again. “I’m just— Matts, I’m really close.” 

Auston seems to take that as a challenge, the competitive freak he is, and pulls off almost all the way until he’s just mouthing at the tip. Freddie’s thighs tremble, and he wants to get his hands back on Auston so bad, but then Auston’s going back down on him, so slow it’s torturous. This time he doesn’t stop, just takes more and more of Freddie into his mouth until Freddie can feel it hit the back of his throat. 

“_Auston,_” Freddie says, then he really does get his hand back in Auston’s hair, trying to tug him back. “Pull off, I’m— I’m gonna—” 

But Auston doesn’t move, swallowing around Freddie’s dick, and he can feel the way his throat constricts around the head, the pressure unbelievable, and he’s coming hard, shooting into Auston’s mouth before he can even blink. 

Auston chokes, spit and come leaking out of his mouth but he doesn’t pull off, just swallows around Freddie’s dick until he finishes coming and Freddie has to push him off for real, too oversensitive for more. 

Freddie blinks up at the ceiling, still catching his breath, wondering how the fuck that just happened, before he looks back down at Auston. 

Auston looks dazed, lashes wet with tears and face a mess, and he’s so hard Freddie can see it from up here.

“Come up here,” Freddie says, gentle. Auston scrambles up to the bed, straddling Freddie like he did the first time they kissed. The first time they practiced. 

“Do you want me to get you off?” Freddie asks. Auston whimpers, nodding furiously, then hiding his face against Freddie’s neck as he loops his arms around him for balance. 

“Alright,” Freddie says, and gets Auston’s pants open.

He pulls him out slowly, and spits in his palm before wrapping his hand around Auston. 

“Freddie,” Auston says, his voice so hoarse. Freddie tightens his grip. 

Auston’s on the edge so soon, and Freddie pushes precome around the head with his thumb and gets him even wetter as Auston bucks up into his hand like he can’t help it. 

“I’m gonna come,” Auston cries only a few strokes later, mouth open and wet against the side of Freddie’s neck, then down to the hollow of his throat as he hunches in on himself. 

“C’mon, Auston,” Freddie murmurs, and that’s all it takes, Auston coming hard all over Freddie’s hand and his shirt, panting hard the whole time. 

Auston slumps against him once he’s done, and the weight of him forces Freddie to lie back against the bed as Auston keeps clinging to him, hard. Then they stay there, both coming down, surrounded by their own silence and the hum of the air conditioner. 

Freddie has no idea where to go from here. It seems wrong to just tell Auston to go, but this is so far beyond what he thought would happen when he told Auston he would help. Because this— everything they’ve done together these past few weeks. That was never for him. None of this was real. 

Surprisingly, Auston speaks first, but makes no move to let go, face still pressed to Freddie’s skin. 

“Can I stay?” he asks, voice tiny and still hoarse. “I’ll leave first thing in the morning, promise.” 

And what’s Freddie supposed to say, here? He can never say no to Auston. 

When Freddie’s alarm goes off the next morning, Auston is already gone.

He shouldn’t feel as disappointed as he does, because Auston told him last night he would go as soon as he could, and he should’ve never let him stay in the first place. He never should’ve let any of this happen, much less let himself hold Auston in his bed as they slept. And there’s no reason to be upset, because soon, Auston’s going to go on his date that started all of this and impress Hayden so much, and then it’ll really be over, and they can both move on. Auston’s going to be happy, which is all Freddie wanted in the first place, anyway.

But Freddie gets in the shower, and all he can think about how nice it would’ve been to be the one Auston’s getting so excited and nervous over. How great it would be to be able to kiss Auston because he wants to, and not because Auston’s gearing up to be with someone else instead. How badly he wants all of this, because now that he’s had it— it just makes it so much worse to have to watch it happen from the outside. 

Auston doesn’t sit next to him on the plane. 

Freddie puts his headphones in and closes his eyes and tells himself over and over that this is good. He sleeps the entire flight, and when he wakes he pretends he didn’t dream of Auston. 

There is literally no reason Freddie should be losing his shit on the Saturday that Auston’s supposed to go get his man, or whatever. It’s just a first date, and Freddie shouldn’t care.

But he knows it’s not just a first date for him, anymore. Because he knows Auston’s going to wear his navy sweater over his nice button down today and gently bring up the fact that he would really like to share the chocolate cake, please, because they talked about that. And he knows that if Hayden leans in to kiss Auston today, Auston’s going to go so easy and so sweet, because he taught Auston how to just accept a kiss and let it ride. Then eventually, when Hayden inevitably becomes just as enamored with Auston as Freddie is, he knows what Auston is going to look like on his knees for him, all messed up and beautiful.

And fuck, he doesn’t even know what this Hayden guy looks like, so all he can do is picture himself in his place, like he’s the one Auston was after all along. 

Freddie orders takeout, again. He’s sad enough that he deserves it, he figures. Self-care and all of that bullshit. 

The doorbell rings after a while of him just moping on the couch, and he pushes his hair down as he makes his way to the door, hoping he doesn’t look too disgusting for the delivery person. 

“Thank you,” he starts, reaching for his wallet in his pocket as the door swings open. But when he looks up, it’s not his food at all.

It’s Auston, in his blue sweater, looking nervous and scared and gorgeous. 

“Thanks for what?” Auston asks, before brushing a loose curl out of his eyes. 

“I thought—” Freddie gapes. “You have a date today,” he says, instead of answering Auston’s question. 

Auston smiles at him, hesitant and small. “Can I come in?” 

“Yeah, yeah, sure,” Freddie says, way too enthusiastic. His brain is a mess of thoughts right now, and he feels like he’s tripping all over himself in his haste to get out of the way so Auston step inside. 

Auston doesn’t take off his shoes, just stands right there in the doorway. Freddie stares at him. 

“Your date,” he says again, because that’s all he can think about right now. Auston has a date today, and he’s here. 

“I cancelled it,” Auston admits. “I cancelled it last week.” 

Freddie’s head is spinning, and he runs a hand through his hair. “Last week,” he repeats, feeling faint. That means—

“I realized that I didn’t want to date Hayden,” Auston says, cutting off Freddie’s train of thought. “I found something else.”

Auston takes a small step towards Freddie. “And I realized I didn’t want to just keep— _practicing_.” He shoots Freddie a knowing half smile, like it’s their inside joke.

“What do you want, then?” Freddie asks. “Because what you just said— that last time. That wasn’t practice.” 

“No,” Auston says, then looks down at the floor, embarrassed. “It stopped being practice a long time ago, I think.”

“You have to be honest with me, Auston,” Freddie says, shaky. “I can’t do this anymore.” 

And it’s true. If Auston were to tell him no, right now, after everything, Freddie doesn’t think he’d ever be able to look at him again. 

“I want the real thing,” Auston tells him. Freddie’s not sure when Auston got so close to him, but they’re barely a foot away now. 

“You’re not the dating type,” Freddie says, thinking back to the first day. Auston had never even considered going on a date until only a few weeks ago. What’s changed, now?

“I want to be. With you. I want to be the dating type with you. Fuck— I want to date you, Fred. I don’t give a fuck about Hayden, or any of those girls I’ve hooked up with. I want to—”

Auston swallows, nervous. Freddie finally gives in. He reaches out, holding Auston’s hand. 

Auston glances down at Freddie’s palm covering his hand, then back up at Freddie, taking a deep breath. “I want to be your boyfriend. If you want. I’d really want that.” 

Freddie feels a little like he can’t breathe. Like this isn’t real. But here Auston is, holding his hand and looking into his eyes and telling him what he’s been waiting to hear. 

“I want that, too,” Freddie says. And before Auston can respond, Freddie kisses him.

He was right, he thinks, because Auston opens up, easy and sweet. He lets Freddie kiss him, soft, and lets the moment ride. 

“We are not having sex on the first date, by the way,” Auston says. “Gotta make you work for it.” 

Freddie’s eyes are focused on the road as he drives, so he can’t roll his eyes at Auston the way he wants to do so badly. 

“I don’t care,” Freddie says. “We’re not getting chocolate cake, either, by the way. Gotta make you work for it.”

“Hey,” Auston says. Freddie steels his expression, careful not to let himself laugh. “Wait, yes we are.” 

“Maybe I want to pick,” Freddie replies easily. “Why can’t I pick dessert?” 

“That is not how this works,” Auston counters.

“I didn’t know there were _rules_ about dessert,” Freddie says. 

Auston glares at him, which Freddie only sees because they’re pulling into the parking lot slowly. “You’re doing this because I said no sex on the first date,” he says. 

“What? No,” Freddie says, sarcastic. “Why would I do that?”

“Get fucked,” Auston says, crossing his arms and putting on a pretty effective pout. 

Then Freddie actually does burst out laughing, but it’s fine because he’s already accomplished what he wanted. He parks the car, still laughing as Auston sulks in the passenger seat. 

“I’m just going to order the chocolate cake anyway,” Auston says, finally, when neither of them move to get out of the car.

“Okay,” Freddie says, light. “You can eat it by yourself.” And then they continue to sit there. Silently. 

“_Fine_,” Auston relents, finally, and unbuckles his seatbelt with more force and attitude than Freddie thought was possible. “You can suck my dick when we get home, and we’re going to be cute and share the cake, okay?”

He doesn’t even wait for an answer, getting out of the car. 

Freddie starts laughing again and hurries to get out too, jogging to catch Auston around the waist before he can storm into the restaurant. 

“I _guess _that’s fine,” Freddie says, feigning exasperation and smiling as he pulls Auston into a hug. 

“I just want us to use the tiny dessert spoons together,” Auston admits, muffled against Freddie’s chest. “Those are so cute.” 

“Okay,” Freddie says, fond, squeezing Auston hard before letting him go. “Hey, whatever you want, okay?”

“Duh,” Auston says, Freddie and feels his heart grow a million times when Auston grins at him, genuine and real. 


End file.
